Growth God's Way

Adapted from: Growth God's Way by Sam Holm

Ever feel like you're pouring effort into parenting but not seeing the growth you'd hoped for? You're not alone.

Recently, I received a plant from my father-in-law—a precious offshoot passed down through generations. We treasured it, watered it, worried over it. But when he visited months later with another plant from the same batch planted at the exact same time, the difference was shocking. His flourished. Ours barely survived.

The problem? We didn't know what we were growing or how to help it thrive.

The same principle applies to raising kids. We can invest tremendous energy yet miss the mark entirely if we're aiming at the wrong target. The ancient Book of Proverbs offers us a blueprint—not for raising happy kids or straight-A students or star athletes, but for cultivating something far more valuable: wisdom.

Three Questions Every Parent Needs to Answer

1. What Are We Actually Growing?

Solomon, known as the wisest person in ancient history, wrote Proverbs as practical guidance from father to son. His goal wasn't to produce successful kids by worldly standards. He wanted to grow wisdom—the skill for living well.

In our information-saturated age, we don't lack parenting advice or expert opinions. What we lack is wisdom: the ability to take truth and actually apply it in daily life.

The Answer: We're growing wisdom—not just knowledge, but the practical skill to navigate life well, make good decisions, and thrive in relationships.

That's the real target. Not temporary happiness. Not perfect performance. Wisdom that lasts a lifetime.

2. How Does Wisdom Actually Grow?

Wisdom requires two essential ingredients: humility to receive and intentionality to give.

First, children need humility to accept correction and guidance. The difference between someone who flourishes and someone who doesn't isn't intelligence—it's teachability.

Second, parents must be intentional. Wisdom doesn't grow accidentally. It requires effort, time, and strategic investment.

The Answer: Wisdom grows through humble receiving and intentional giving—it requires both parties to actively participate in the process.

Here are three practical ways to cultivate wisdom in your home:

1. Family Time with Purpose – Set a consistent time (bedtime, dinner, whenever works) to read and discuss meaningful content together. Whether it's Bible stories, character-building books, or important life conversations, make it regular.

2. Serve Together – Real maturity comes through application, not just information. Volunteer together at a food bank, serve at community events, or find ways to help others as a family unit. Character is built through action.

3. Intentional Conversations – Don't just walk through life on autopilot. Engage your kids where they are. Ask thoughtful questions. Create space for real dialogue about responsibility, choices, and growing up. One practical approach: have periodic "family meetings" where you discuss increasing responsibilities and freedoms as they mature—helping them gradually move from being managed to being self-governed.

3. What Actually Makes It Grow?

Here's the game-changer that many miss: it's not ultimately about what you do, but about who is at the center.

The ancient proverb says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge."

Rules don't change hearts. Busy schedules don't either. Even the best programs can't do it. Only a genuine relationship with God—experienced through Jesus—transforms from the inside out. When children encounter a loving God and understand what Jesus did on the cross, everything changes.

The Answer: God is what makes wisdom grow—specifically, pointing our families to Jesus and living in awe of His love transforms hearts in ways our efforts alone never could.

Dads especially, research consistently shows the number one predictor of a child's spiritual life is their relationship with their father. Your walk with God isn't just taught in intentional moments—it's modeled daily. What you treasure, they'll notice. Who you worship, they'll remember.

One man in our church shared how listening to a recording of his father singing about Jesus from the 1960s blessed him sixty years later. What we do and say today can impact our kids and grandkids for decades.

Your Next Step

You won't be a perfect parent. None of us are. But you can point your family to the One who perfectly loves them.

This week, choose one practical step: start regular family time, serve together somewhere, or initiate one intentional conversation about what really matters. And consider how you can make your relationship with God more visible in your home.

The best thing you can grow in your home isn't perfect behavior—it's lasting wisdom rooted in something greater than yourself.